We’ve all been there where you start a new job, project or relationship with all the excitement and ambition in the world.
And then it comes to a sudden, screeching halt....seemingly. You don’t “feel” like going to that meeting or editing that content so you put it off until it is too late or forgotten. What happened? Or as I like to ask, “Why are we like this???” Is it laziness? Partially. Lack of interest? Maybe. Bad time management? Could be. The truth is there is no short answer. It varies for each person and can be quite complicated.
For me, it took me 7 months to figure out I was in a slump. I was running on adrenaline pumped by my day planned schedule. I thrived on checking things off my list. It gave me a false sense of accomplishment. In the moment, I felt quite productive because I equated busyness with productivity. Truth is, I was lying to myself and in turn moving further and further away from my purpose. Totally having a Martha moment!
“But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.””
Luke 10:41-42 NLT
(Read More Luke 10:38-42) But God! After a series of interesting, uncomfortable scenarios, and a heart check with my husband, my eyes were opened. I was feeling unfulfilled and too busy to realize it. I started to notice myself feeling tired all the time, which wasn’t super alarming as much as it was annoying. I didn’t have the same ambition I once had. I didn’t “feel” like blogging, or doing anything brand related. I told myself that I was done with it. The alarm rang for me when I found myself feeling jealous. Not because I’m this super confident girl who never has an insecurity, but because I usually catch those types of emotions before they manifest. Through these feelings of jealousy, I began to tap into my feelings more leading me to realize how empty I felt. I always had an underlying feeling of emptiness due to my desire to get pregnant. I would always feel it but it wasnt nagging. I subconsciously started filling my time, in hopes of ignoring what was really going on. The thought was,
“If I stay busy enough, I won’t feel x,y and z.”. That was half of it. The other half was me keeping busy with things that didn’t serve me. Not that one shouldn’t help others but use wisdom. I was either helping a friend, at the church or glued to the tv in the name of self care.
Sometimes God needs to to serve Him by doing things outside of the four walls of the church. That is normal and don’t let anyone say otherwise.
“Am I now trying to win the favor and approval of men, or of God? Or am I seeking to please someone? If I were still trying to be popular with men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.”
GALATIANS 1:10 AMP
“So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.”
2 Corinthians 5:9 NIV
Self care is not always bubble baths and hours of tv. Self care is serving God (not man or church) so that He can serve you. For me, self care is (right now) me sitting at my desk at cranking out God given content for my subscribers, spending time with my husband, cooking healthy meals for us, making sure I join my weekly prayer call, and showing up for ME. When you are doing things for the wrong reasons, and/or not doing what God has called you to do you will feel unfulfilled and burned out. I’m working more hours and feeling less tired. Why? Because I’m doing what I’m supposed to do in this season. No striving. Just obedience.
“But Samuel replied: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.”
1 Samuel 15:22 NIV
Or the “come for your life” version
“Then Samuel said, Do you think all GOD wants are sacrifices— empty rituals just for show? He wants you to listen to him! Plain listening is the thing, not staging a lavish religious production. Not doing what GOD tells you is far worse than fooling around in the occult. Getting self-important around GOD is far worse than making deals with your dead ancestors. Because you said No to GOD ’s command, he says No to your kingship.”
1 Samuel 15:22-23